The term “sandwich generation” is increasingly used to describe adults who are caught between caring for ageing parents while still supporting dependent children. For many, this is a period marked by emotional strain, practical pressure and difficult financial decisions. What is less openly discussed, however, is how these pressures can increase the risk of financial abuse within families - often unintentionally at first, but with serious legal and personal consequences.
Financial abuse is not limited to scams by strangers or headline-grabbing frauds. In practice, it most often happens behind closed doors, within relationships of trust. When adult children step in to “help out” with finances during periods of ill health, vulnerability, or loss of capacity, the line between support and abuse can become dangerously blurred.
What is financial abuse?
Financial abuse is broadly understood as the misuse or misappropriation of a person’s money, assets, or property, or a violation of their rights relating to financial affairs. It can be intentional or unintentional, overt or subtle, but it always involves an imbalance of power.
It may include:
Taking money or possessions without authority
Misusing bank cards or accounts
Pressuring someone to make gifts or change a Will
Overcharging for care or “assistance”
Forging or coercing signatures
Misusing a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) or deputyship
Mixing funds or treating someone else’s money as one’s own
Crucially, financial abuse can occur even where the person providing help believes they are acting reasonably, particularly where stress, entitlement, or financial pressure are present.
Why the sandwich generation is particularly vulnerable
Adult children in the sandwich generation are often juggling:
Their own employment
Escalating care costs for parents
Rising costs of living
Emotional strain and fatigue
Supporting their own children through education
When an older parent becomes ill, isolated, or starts to lose capacity, it commonly falls to one child to “step up”. This can feel unavoidable - and it often begins with genuine good intentions. Bills are paid, shopping is sorted, bank cards are shared, and informal arrangements are made because “it’s quicker” or “there’s no time to do the paperwork”.
However, informality is one of the greatest risk factors for financial abuse. Without clear authority, transparency, or accountability, even small decisions can slide into improper use of funds. What starts as reimbursement for expenses can escalate into expectations of payment, “early inheritance”, or unilateral decision making that excludes the older person’s wishes or best interests.
The problem of “early inheritance thinking”
A recurring theme in financial abuse cases is the belief – sometimes unspoken – that an adult child is entitled to benefit financially because:
They are providing care
Their inheritance is being “eroded” by care fees
They believe they know what their parent “would have wanted”
This mindset can lead to pressure being placed on an older person to:
Sell property
Release capital
Make substantial gifts
Change testamentary arrangements
Where capacity is impaired, this becomes particularly serious. Even where capacity appears intact, undue influence may be present, especially if the older person is dependent, isolated, or fearful of losing support. The law is clear: money belongs to the individual, not to those who expect to inherit it.
The risks around Powers of Attorney (LPAs)
LPAs are essential planning tools and, in the vast majority of cases, Attorneys act properly and with care. However, the role is often misunderstood. An Attorney must:
Act only in the donor’s best interests
Keep finances separate
Avoid conflicts of interest
Seek authority for significant gifts or transactions
Keep proper records
Common warning signs of abuse by an Attorney include:
Excessive gifts to self or others
Poor or missing accounting
Sudden changes in expenditure
Treating funds as compensation for care
“Informal” loans that are never repaid
It is worth emphasising that being under pressure does not excuse misuse of authority. Acting as an Attorney is a fiduciary role, and breaches can result in investigation, removal, personal repayment obligations, and reputational damage.
Warning signs families should not ignore
Not every concern indicates abuse, but patterns matter. Red flags may include:
Unexplained cash withdrawals or transfers
Bills going unpaid when they previously were not
Sudden anxiety, loss of confidence, or secrecy
A new person controlling access to finances or information
Statements such as “I don’t want to be a burden” or “they get cross if I ask”
Professionals and family members alike often hesitate to question these signs, fearing conflict or embarrassment. Unfortunately, silence is one of the reasons abuse continues.
Prevention: Planning before crisis
One of the most effective ways to reduce risk is early, transparent planning, before crisis hits. This includes:
Carefully selecting Attorneys (and considering joint or professional appointments)
Clear guidance within LPAs
Open family conversations while capacity is intact
Proper financial records
Independent advice for older individuals
Preemptive planning protects both generations: it safeguards the older person while also protecting children from accusations, misunderstandings, or unintended legal breaches.
What to do if you are worried
If something does not feel right, it is appropriate to:
Ask questions
Seek independent legal advice
Contact adult safeguarding teams if risk is present
Notify the Office of the Public Guardian where an Attorney may be acting improperly
If there is concern that a criminal offence has been committed, contact the police
Consider Court of Protection involvement where necessary
Early intervention is key. Once money has been spent or assets transferred, recovery can be difficult – and sometimes impossible.
A shared responsibility
Financial abuse thrives in silence, stress, and uncertainty. The sandwich generation faces immense pressure, but care must never come at the cost of autonomy, dignity, or legality.
Supporting ageing parents is an act of compassion. Protecting their financial independence and best interests is part of that care - and it is far easier to do so before lines are crossed.
About the author
Heledd Wyn, Partner at Rothley Law
With extensive experience in future planning, private wealth, and Court of Protection matters, Heledd specialises in private client services and long-term care. She provides expert guidance on Wills, Powers of Attorney, long-term care, and asset protection for both individuals and business owners. Based in Bristol, she is particularly well-regarded for her expertise in long-term and elderly care issues including issues surrounding financial abuse. Her in-depth knowledge of care system funding, especially in navigating local authority assessments and challenging their decisions, makes her invaluable to clients planning for their own or loved ones’ care. She has significant experience with NHS Continuing Healthcare funding and contested applications to the Court of Protection for both property and finance and health and welfare matters. She is also a trusted Adviser on Inheritance Tax planning and Trusts.
